


The Bull and The Ram

by officialblueteam



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 03:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4772324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/officialblueteam/pseuds/officialblueteam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Geoff loves the super freak gang he's a member of but wishes overtime wasn't a part of his contract.  He also wishes he could be partnered with someone a little more sane.   One shot about a mission that almost works</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bull and The Ram

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is a one shot that I thought of a while back and I might add more to it if I can find time to write. Note, this is not a Fake AH Crew au. Just super powers and gangs

It all began with a simple phone call one night after dinner. Geoff was in his apartment attempting to finish a research paper he should have started last week. Right as he began to get into the swing of this, his phone started buzzing. Geoff let it go to voicemail but the buzzing started up a second later. Sighing, he realized this must be vaguely important and answered it. Before Geoff could even say “Hello”, Lindsey’s voice came rushing out. “You need to fill in for an assignment. I know you worked today but no one else is picking up their damn phones. I’ll be at you place soon.” The line went dead and Geoff was left gawking at his paper. ‘I guess you’re not being finished tonight’. He though bitterly.  


Thirty minutes later, Lindsey’s silver Mustang swung into Geoff’s driveway, and she was leaning on the horn before the car came to a full stop. Grabbing his coat from the couch, Geoff walked out his front door with all the enthusiasm of a man going to stand before a firing squad.  
He opened the car door and flopped into the passenger seat. “So what’d Gavin and Michael do this time?” he sighed. The friends worked Friday night so the only reason Lindsey would need replacements was if something had happened to them.  
“Gavin decided to try his hand at cooking.” She chuckled. “Didn’t fry the omelets long enough and gave them both salmonella.” Geoff groaned and put his head in his hands.  


“Great, just fucking great.” He muttered sarcastically. “So are we doing those idiot’s job tonight?”  


“Sorry dude,” she smiled sadly, “there’s no ‘we’. I'm just the driver. I have to get back to the apartment and make sure those two idiots don’t die. You're with Ryan.”  


“Ryan!” he exclaimed. Geoff tended to avoid that particular teammate since he had explained to Geoff the best way to butcher a cow, step by step. Ryan had…a few screws loose. “Are you fucking kidding me? There's no way I'm working with that psycho!”  


“Don’t call him that! I would’ve given you another partner but he was the only one who’ll respond to a fucking phone call! Suck it up. You're stuck with him,” Lindsey snapped. Geoff slumped in his seat, regretting answering his phone immensely. That’s what every other gang member seemed to do.  
Lindsey pulled out of the driveway in silence. He meekly glanced at her and frowned when he saw the flames lick behind her dark eyes. She hated when the gang squabbled amongst themselves. They were all she had, and Lindsey sometimes acted almost like a mother to them. Geoff knew that if he complained anymore, the car would most likely burst into flames from the redhead’s temper. He could see the steering wheel smoke slightly beneath Lindsey’s fingers. Geoff decided his life would last longer if he changed the subject. “So, uh, who’s the target for me and, ah, Ryan?” he hesitantly asked.  


“Some guy named Matt Hullum. He’s been embezzling funds or something, I don’t know. It’s all in the file. Burns wants him gone so it’s your job to do it.” She tossed a packet of paper at him, her eyes never leaving the road. Geoff skimmed through it, rubbing the ram’s skull drawing on his wrist, as he began dreading the assignment more and more. Most people assumed that the sleeves of artwork that covered both of his arms were tattoos, but his drawings were anything but permanent. When the Mustang pulled into Ryan’s driveway, Lindsey only had time to tap the horn before he had bounded into the car.  


“Hey guys! Who’s the perp?” Ryan grinned widely, ready for action.  


“Someone named Hullum.” Geoff grumbled. He sulked miserably as Lindsey pulled away. The next half an hour became a blur of headlights and silence, broken only by Ryan’s attempts to have a conversation. Lindsey tried to talk with Ryan but Geoff noticed how forced her voice sounded. ‘Even you're edgy around that devious asshole, you hypocrite’, he thought bitterly.  


By the time the Mustang stopped, the three teammates were in the outskirts of Austin. Long driveways lined the streets, gated off and leading to grand mansions the distance. Geoff rubbed the skull drawing again nervously. He hated working in neighborhoods. Too many things could go wrong. What if the maids were working late? What if a neighbor made note of Lindsey’s car? What if the dumb little yappy dog woke up? All rich people had yappy dogs, Geoff had learned. He looked in the back seat to find Ryan already pulling on his crimson red ski mask. Reluctantly, Geoff wiped the skull off his wrist and spread it across his face. The drawing was his mask, concealing most of his features behind the tan ink. He’d been told many times by the crew that he looked like he was celebrating Day of the Dead poorly, but he had decided early on that this would be his image, however ridiculous he looked.  


The two men exited the car, looking like a comedy and tragedy mask. Lindsey rolled down the window. “Good luck guys,” she smiled encouragingly. “I’ll be here when you’re done, just give me a holler. Don’t do anything stupid,” she added insidiously, looking at Ryan.  


“What, me?” he scoffed, pretending to be insulted. “I haven’t done anything!” ‘Yet’, Geoff thought. She rolled the window up, turned the off the ignition, and practically hid under the steering wheel. ‘Well that’s one way to look like a parked car’, he thought bitterly. They were lucky though; Geoff noticed that Mustangs weren’t rare on this street. Sometimes Lindsey’s flamboyant car made it tricky to blend in. He turned to make his way to gate but Ryan loudly whispered, “Hold on a sec.” Geoff groaned quietly and turned back to the car.  


“What is it?” he hissed.  


“A finishing touch.” Ryan put his palm on the hood of the car, and when he lifted it, a scraggly cat appeared. It yawned, curled up into a ball and promptly fell asleep. “There,” he grinned smugly, “Now it looks like the car’s been here for a while.”  


“We’re wasting time, come on,” Geoff barked.  
The gate was locked, just as all gates are at late as fuck o’clock. Geoff brushed a cartoonish looking key off his arm and slid it into the gate’s large lock. The key seemed to pop into a real metal one and meshed itself into the lock. It turned with a click. A pattern of wilted flowers stretched over Geoff’s fingers as he pulled off the lock and pushed open the gate. What was he, an amateur? He couldn’t be leaving fingerprints behind like a damn schmuck. ‘I wonder if Ryan was smart enough to bring gloves. He’ll have to touch something eventually.' he thought as they ran up the winding driveway. 'Maybe he likes to leave evidence behind for the stupid cops to find. Then if they were ever smart enough to catch the motherfucker they would know everything he’s done. God, he’d be the one to be into that’. Now that Geoff thought about it, he wouldn’t put it past his partner to have burned away his prints, mafia style. He’d also be into that.  


“Cameras,” Geoff whispered, trying to shut off his thoughts. Ryan clapped his hands than pulled them apart, releasing thousands of flies into the air. They buzzed away to block pesky lenses. When the partners reached the backyard, Geoff took the papers Lindsey had given him out of his pocket. “Okay, found the blueprint.” Kneeling, he smoothed the paper out on the ground, looking for Hullum’s bedroom. He studied it while Ryan shuffled his feet, obviously bored. “Dude, focus,” Geoff hit Ryan’s shin lightly. “Find the third floor on the west side, second one in.” Nodding, Ryan squinted up towards the house.  


“There,” he pointed.  


“Climb up there and open the window. I’m going to line up for the shot.”  


“How come you get to do all the fun?” Ryan complained. “I want to shoot!”  


Geoff couldn’t believe his ears. He sounded like a two-year-old whining about wanting another cookie. “Are you seriously going to gripe about this? This isn’t a fucking video game. We’re on a goddamn mission! You don’t even have a gun on you! Is this how you and Ray do your jobs?” Geoff whispered furiously.  


Ryan glared, crossing his arms. “You know that Ray’s the best sniper on the gang. That’s LITERALLY his power; being the best fucking shot! I never get to do anything except prep work. Jobs used to be so much fun when Lindsey was my partner. Ever since Kdin joined and I got partnered with Ray, jobs are just so BORING!” he sighed exasperatedly. “I thought with you I’d be able to, I don’t know, touch a gun.” Ryan glared slightly. “And you know as well as anyone that I don’t need a gun to complete missions.”  


“Maybe,” Geoff retorted, “if you want more action, learn to shoot better than Ray or find a way to kill that doesn’t involve swarms of Africanized bees.” ‘God that must be a horrible way to go. Who would even fucking think of that?’ “Now stop whining and go open the fucking window.”  


Scowling, Ryan turned on his heel and tromped towards the house. ‘Fucking hell, why couldn’t Jack work tonight?’ Geoff thought bitterly as he brushed a brick wall off his arm and climbed to the top for higher ground. Jack had been Geoff’s best friend for years. He was the first person Geoff met that had powers as well. When they both joined Burns’ gang a few years ago, the two became partners and worked together like clockwork. ‘Jack would never argue with me in the middle of a god damn assignment’. Crouching on top of his new fort, Geoff looked glumly at the sniper rifle drawing on the back of his hand and wiped it into reality. Gazing through the scope, he watched Ryan climb the mansion’s wall and reach the desired window. It opened without a sound.  


Geoff unlocked the gun’s safety, waiting for Ryan to climb down in order to take the shot. However, his jaw dropped as he watched Ryan spontaneously slip into the house. ‘No, no, no, no, no, you FUCKING IDIOT!’ Geoff practically flew off the wall, barely remembering to turn it back into a drawing as he sprinted after Ryan. Worst case scenarios rushed through his head. As much as he hated his temporary teammate, Geoff and the rest of the gang would be devastated if anything happened to Ryan. ‘Oh god, he’s not even wearing any gloves! Fuck! How stupid is this prick?!’ Hastily, Geoff began climbing up the mansion’s wall, praying that Ryan hadn’t found Hullum yet. ‘Who am I even kidding?' he thought, 'This is the guy’s bedroom window. All he’s going to do is leave a load of evidence behind! Oh god, we’re so dead. Burns is literally going to murder us’.  


Pulling himself through the windowsill, Geoff froze, his fears becoming a reality. Hullum was awake and frozen in terror. He wasn’t staring at Ryan, however, but rather the large bull that stood between the two. Ryan stood smiling slightly with his arms stretched wide, obviously just having made the bull appear. Geoff did notice that, luckily, Hullum didn’t have a lady in bed with him and that Ryan actually did have gloves. ‘Great’, he thought nervously, ‘a silver fucking lining’.  


“Ryan,” he muttered cautiously, “get rid of the bull. The mission’s compromised now. Just let me shoot the guy and we’ll go back to the car.”  


Ryan’s head whipped around and glowered at Geoff. “No! I don’t have to take your orders, or Ray’s, or anyone’s!” he shouted. “I can complete the mission just fine, without you!”  


“Wait!” Geoff reached for his rifle but it was too late. On Ryan’s command, the bull lunged and slammed its horns though Hullum’s chest. The man barely had time to let out a blood curdling scream before the bull jerked its head up and his torso was ripped from his body. The bull disappeared, leaving behind only its work.  


Ryan turned back to Geoff. “See? Job’s done and no bees,” he beamed. Geoff glared at the mess Ryan had made and, reaching over, grabbed Ryan’s arm.  


“Wha, hey!” was all Ryan was able to say before Geoff pulled, sending him flying out the window. Footsteps could be heard thumping down the hall along with yelling. It was only a miracle someone didn’t hear Hullum’s screech and burst in before the bull could do its damage. Geoff spread the wings drawn on his shoulder blades and dove. He landed softly on his feet. Ryan was unhurt as well although his pride appeared to be damaged. An eagle sat on each of his shoulders, apparently having been made to keep him from falling flat on his ass. He glared maliciously at Geoff, but Geoff couldn’t have cared less.  


“Come on, we have to get to Lindsey!” Geoff took off running. He looked over his shoulder to make sure Ryan was following, and he was happy to see that he was doing the first smart thing of the evening.

When they neared the car, Geoff heard Lindsey start it. He wrenched the door open and they were speeding away before he had shut it properly. Buckling his seat belt, he leaned back into the leather seat and sighed in relief. As the adrenaline wore off, he brushed the ram’s skull off his face and back onto his wrist, wishing for his bed. “So how’d it go?” Lindsey asked innocently. “Any problems?”

“Nope!” Geoff heard Ryan reply happily. At least he made it into the car, he thought. As much as he wanted Ryan to get chewed out by Burns at the next meeting for his behavior, Geoff didn’t have it in him. He was too tired. In the end, Ryan was kind of right. The mission was a success, for now at least. Geoff was sure this was going to be in all the papers the next morning but right now, he just wanted to sleep.


End file.
